What's In Your Pants? - The ninjaHELL! Blog

ninjaHELL! @ RealmsCon

2011-11-05T12:59:00.000-07:00

I've Held Off Long Enough...

2011-09-06T11:42:00.000-07:00

How does Telezonia and this film sound?

Texas is so dry...

2011-08-28T01:35:00.000-07:00


YouTube Doubler

Just so you know, this happened.

2011-08-22T12:06:00.001-07:00

How To Rule As A Dungeon Master [SJ4TW]

2011-08-12T16:04:00.000-07:00

I'm a sucker for a man with nice fingers.

2011-08-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

I have fallen in love with a man. I'm sorry ladies, but its true. This mans magnificence has overwhelmed me and I have fallen into sweet lust with him. And while I'm not Red Headed, I do feel the icy sting of Prejudice on my life.
Here is her ladies and gentlefoots. The one, the only. Tim Minchin!

Tony and Sofia - This is for You

2011-08-07T21:44:00.001-07:00

July Update

2011-07-04T15:59:00.000-07:00

We're getting ready for SJ4TW! If you'd be interested in helping us out during "nH! Presents - Zardoz" shoot us an email at either kubukunthesoundninja[AT]gmail.com or ninjahellpr[AT]gmail.com
We're doing another nH! Presents at RealmsCon, but we're keeping the second film we'll be making fun of secret. Let's just say that a particular joke we make about Telly (from Telezonia) should shed some light on what film will follow. We're also dropping a couple of hints in "nH! Presents - Zardoz", so keep your eyes and ears peeled.
I'm setting up a merchandise store, and need some feedback: What are some of your favorite jokes or dumb things we've said or done that you'd want screen printed onto fabric for all of the world to see?
Also at SJ4TW: We're returning with the Scavenger Hunt booth! Yet again, you can both register and "save" the progress you've made on the list at the booth. We have no idea what the main prize is going to be, but the con has promised us it's as awesome as the sneak-peak passes to "Scott Pilgrim vs. The World" from last year.
Expect more short streaming shows like the one we did back in April. In fact, I believe we may do something around the end of this month...

That's about it for now. Expect more articles and vids, and we'll see you out at San Japan 4TW!

RIDER KICK!

2011-06-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

Found this while looking for Kamen Rider stuff. Enjoy!
These are all of the super attacks from the Kamen Rider Climax Heroes game for Wii.

1. 00:00 - Kuuga with Gouram striker (to borrow a KOF term): Amazing Mighty Kick
2. 00:23 - Kuuga Ultimate: Ultimate Kick
3. 00:46 - Agito Trinity: Rider Kick
4. 01:18 - Agito with Machine Tornader striker: Burning Bomber
5. 01:37 - Agito Shining: Shining Crush
6. 02:02 - Ryuki with Dragredder striker: Dragon Rider Kick
7. 02:18 - Ryuki Survive: Dragon Fire Storm (note how this one was modified from the Dragon Knight copypasta job; namely, the victim doesn't get run over by the bike)
8. 02:45 - Knight with Darkwing striker: Hisshozan
9. 03:00 - Knight Survive: Shippudan (same as with Ryuki Survive)
10. 03:21 - Scissors: Scissors Attack
11. 03:37 - Zolda: End of World
12. 03:55 - Raia: Hide Venom
13. 04:13 - Gai: Heavy Pressure
14: 04:29 - Ouja: Doomsday
15. 04:49 - Femme: Misty Slash
16. 05:12 - Ryuga: Dragon Rider Kick
17. 05:30 - Tiger: Crystal Break
18. 05:49 - Verde: Death Vanish
19: 06:06 - Odin: Eternal Chaos
20: 06:25 - Imperer: Drive Divider
21: 06:44 - Faiz Accel: Accel Crimson Smash
22. 07:01 - Faiz Blaster: Blaster Crimson Smash
23. 07:26 - Blade Jack: J. Lightning Slash
24. 07:51 - Blade King: Royal Straight Flush
25. 08:07 - Hibiki Kurenai: Bakuretsu Shinku no Kata
26. 08:25 - Hibiki Armed: Kishin Kakusei
27. 08:49 - Kabuto with Clock Up: Rider Kick
28. 09:06 - Hyper Kabuto: Hyper Kick
29. 09:37 - Den-O (free base form change): Extreme Slash (note the blatant laziness in forgetting to add in the Full Charge sound effect)
30. 10:02 - Den-O with DenLiner striker: Densha Giri
31. 10:19 - Den-O Super Climax: Super Boisterous Kick
32. 10:39 - Zeronos Zero: Buster Nova
33. 10:58 - Kiva with Castle Doran striker: Darkness Moon Break
34. 11:20 - Kiva Emperor: Emperor Moon Break
35. 11:38 - IXA: IXA Judgement
36. 11:56 - Decade: Dimension Kick
37. 12:19 - Decade Complete: Complete Dimension Kick
38. 12:38 - Diend: Dimension Shoot
39. 13:06 - Double: Joker Extreme
40. 13:30 - Double FangJoker: Fang Strizer
41. 13:48 - Double CycloneJokerXtreme: Double Extreme
42. 14:13 - Accel: Machine Gun Spike
43. 14:45 - OOO: OOO Bash

These people arn't even Japanese!!!

2011-06-16T16:16:00.000-07:00

He folks Tsuba here. I have discovered, after my first experience at A-kon, that there are SoOooooOOoooooOOOOooo many otaku living in Texas. Let alone the rest of the country. In light of that I have decided to show you these videos. These people are what I consider, funny otaku.
First. Sake Dance.

Next there is this. This person makes me actually like that stupid cat. Because without it, there wouldn't be this.

I liked when this show was in Japan.

Thats all I have for today. But I thought you would enjoy a little bit of what made my weekend.

Aki's Playlist - June 14, 2011

2011-06-14T20:44:00.000-07:00

Sorry I'm a few days late with this one. I'm still recovering from major con crud which is why this week's genre is a little gentler than last week's.

Genre: Reggae

The first song this week comes from a reggae legend: Peter Tosh. This song always manages to calm me down, no matter what's going wrong.

This song is the epitome of Rasta, in my opinion. Artists today could do to take note of how simple but strong the message is.

My mom used to sing this to me when I was little. Still gives me chills when I hear it. It's arguably not reggae, but I see it in the same light.

Christafari has always somewhat baffled me with how well they blend reggae with Christian messages. Their tempos are always so smooth and the vocalist has a beautiful voice.

And of course, what reggae playlist would be complete without the legend himself? This song has a very deep meaning for me, and I actually have a tattoo of a tree branch with three birds (red, yellow, and green of course) on the top of my left thigh. This has always been and will always remain my favorite song of all time.

Got a suggestion for a future playlist? Email it to me at ninjahellpr@gmail.com and I'll make you a set!

The entire playlist for this week can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?p=PL3D2C39E07FC6BFA6

Take the hint, Games Workshop.

2011-06-05T13:13:00.000-07:00

If you enjoy wargaming like me, you have no doubt (at the very least) looked into Warhammer 40k.
It's a fun game! I've played at least two or three rounds using the starter set, so I may not be an expert, but I know a well crafted game when I see it.

The problem addressed in this video is that the creators and owners of Warhammer 40k, Games Workshop, are locking out non-european online retailers from selling their product out of greed. This is NOT the time to do this, GW. When it comes to economic strategy, raising prices (Oh, even if you aren't an online retailer, they STILL increased the prices) during a global economic downturn when it comes to entertainment/non-essential products is a good way for your sales to decline.

The video explains much more than I can, and while I'm not a fan of boycotts most of the time, I am personally boycotting any products made explicitly by Games Workshop (Meaning the RPG series produced by Fantasy Flight are excluded from this). You can join me if you want, or you don't have to.

At the very least, keep this in mind. Both Local stores and Online stores deserve your business. I personally use both when it comes to gaming hobbies, and I know my local store sometimes orders single products online for it's customers.

Keep it in mind, folks.

Aki's Playlist: June 3, 2011

2011-06-03T20:20:00.000-07:00

Genre: Dubstep

I'm a self-admitted dubstep fanatic, and I recently came across one of the most amazing dubstep channels ever. It's called TimeForDubSex, and if you're a fan of dub like I am you should definitely check it out. Here's my favorite track I've found so far:

This one's been high on my list for a while. Zed's Dead can do no wrong in my eyes.

I don't care about From First To Last. When it comes right down to it, Skrillex makes some sick-ass dubstep... and that's all that matters to me. Put him and Korn together... instant ear boner.

Continuing with the harder style, this is an excerpt from Shambhala 2009 of Excision and DatsiK. Gives me goosebumps every time, man. I love those mechanical noises Excision's so famous for.

This week's playlist is wrapped up by something on the softer side: drum-and-bass that could only come from the brilliant minds of Mt. Eden. Bootlegged, but still epic.

I will also be compiling all of these into one playlist on my YouTube. Every playlist here will be in its own labeled set on my page. This week's can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xnGmgtr1jM&playnext=1&list=PLECD5C1B5BB5895BC (autoplay should start the first song as soon as you click the link)

How To Survive Conventions: How To Not Starve

2011-05-05T21:10:00.000-07:00

With the Spring Semester quickly coming to an end and the Summer Con Season getting in full swing, there are some things to keep in mind if you find yourself short on money this year. How do you have a good time at an Anime Con and keep fed if the ticket price and your hotel room eat up most of your cash? And how do you keep up your energy for that overnight Safety shift you volunteered for?

Three words: Preparation, Preparation, Preparation!

Whenever we go to a con for a show, we always look for a local H-E-B or Wal-Mart to pick up food and drinks in bulk for the weekend. Why spend $30 on food for yourself, when $50 could cover three or four people in your room the whole weekend?
Dietitians all agree that drinking the recommended amount of water can make you lose weight, and suppresses cravings for those of us on a diet. Cons are also notorious for leaving lots of places for you to keep hydrated. So drink up! If you keep yourself hydrated, you'll be less likely to run out to grab a bite to eat, leaving more room for Pocky and snacks.
In order for any of the nutrients in your food to be absorbed by your body, you need protein. Without it, you might as well not even eat (I know someone who actually passed out on a volunteer shift because of this). Quick sources of protein include:

Nuts
Peanut Butter
Beans
Meat
Certain types of cheese
Tuna

Need to keep your energy up, but can't make it back to your room? Consider picking yourself up some Clif Bars or Lärabars. These little treats are healthy ways to keep you up and active, and can last up to 5-6 hours (Tsuba can back me up on this one). They can be a little pricey, but are worth it if you have run into this problem in the past.
Do some research - Does the con have a "Con Suite"? Most bigger conventions will have some room that they use to feed attendees. Now, for some of them the room is only open to guests and volunteers, but at larger ones (like A-Kon) the room is open to the public. Typically the only rules are that the food cannot be taken out of the room, and that you have a maximum amount of time you can spend in the room at any one instance.
And above all, don't keep all of your money on your person while you walk around and check out the convention. If you keep some of your money inaccessible while you're out on the con floor, or set up a specific amount that you can actually spend on trinkets, you'll have some left over to use on food over the course of the weekend. Remember - you can't buy more useless crap if you die of hunger.

So Yeah, Somehow We Figured Out How To Broadcast To The Internet...

2011-04-21T04:44:00.000-07:00

Thanks Shews and whoever else was watching! We're glad that we could entertain you with our small bouts of insanity, and mentions of evil secret societies.

We'll annotate this here shortly, in case you were wondering exactly what went down in the recording location.

[Note: I accidentally posted the wrong playlist, so here's the real one.]

Game Design in the Coffee by SWERY

2011-04-17T10:43:00.000-07:00

If y'all didn't know, SWERY65 is one of my favorite game designers... He took a game that had some unfortunate drawbacks (Deadly Premonition), and turned it into something amazing with a few key points he shared at this years GDC.

I am just going to link to the blog, but I'm going to post the talking points that SWERY explains in detail in the blog post:

~~Game Design in the Coffee on ACCESS Games site~~
[Note: The Website is in Japanese, so to actually get to the article in question you'll have to do a little clicking. Make the site text appear in English (with the link on the top right of their page) and then look for the March 22nd Blog post at the bottom.]

Point 01 ： Make gamers think about your game when they aren't playing it

Point 02 ： Make gamers "want" to play through your meticulously scripted story

Point 03 ： Create a storyline for a free roaming open world game

Point 04 ： Prevent players from quitting the game at the result screen

Point 05 ： Make appealing characters

Point 07 ： Use what's most important? Your...

The reason I'm posting this, is that these points (Except 6, as it refers directly to video games) all apply to any sort of game design, including pen and paper RPG's, which, if you know anything about us here at ninjaHELL, you know that ALL of us (Yes, even Aki as of this week) Dungeon Master games, and we like to do it in very odd, creative ways.
You'll have to read the article to see more about what each of these key points can do for you in your own design, but I think it's cool to see someone of SWERY's talent actually come forth and share what made Deadly Premonition set itself apart from being just a "Budget Title".

Quick Review: Bulletstorm

2011-04-07T19:16:00.000-07:00

So it's nearly been a year since my last 'review'. (It's funny because I think I'm a professional reviewer!) Unfortunately, I'm very scatterbrained, and write infrequently because, well, I forget to.
With all that said, let me be the first to say that Bulletstorm is everything I've wanted in a First Person Shooter. It causes me to make noises that chubby girls at anime conventions normally make when they see two men make out, and on occasion, I might have had an erection while playing (no homo).
Why would this game illicit such a reaction from a handsome, roguish commissar?

A spot of the old ultraviolence, of course! If you have a modern day dictionary in hand, look up the word "Murder", and you might very well find the definition to be "Bulletstorm". The story is stock, and while initially underwhelming to me, it got a lot better with subtle fourth wall breakage, and even more subtle parody. This game, while serious to a point, is almost a black comedy, everything... and I mean EVERYTHING goes wrong for you in this game. As you achieve something great, you'll crash and burn shortly after... While this may not seem like a shining endorsement, it causes a reaction in me like that of any young, potent, virile male: "FUCK YOU, I AM GOING TO CONTINUE". The frustations of not getting a major achievement illicit a response to finish what you started, something I can't find in most major shooters these days. (I'm looking at you Halo. Just die already.)
With all of that meat, wrap it up in a delicious and hearty taco of comic-style graphics and slather on the verde of potty-mouthed space marines, and you have quite possibly, the first shooter I would replay.

Next week, I'll review Two Worlds II. The prequel gave birth to the beloved ninjaHELL abortion known as "Gostfaceraper420", a character on the multiplayer servers. Let's see if this game lives up to the amount of laughs we had that day.

Where are your Gods now!!!!! the Sequel to the Sequel

2011-04-04T10:51:00.000-07:00

Hi Folks Billy Mays here! Awe! Too Soon? Well who cares cause Tsuba's back with more videos to make you hate your existence. So lets stop beating off on the bush and get down the the dirty work of this evil post.
I love Marshmallows

And thats why I always wear gloves

Two games I love, living together in Peace(s).

After all that I thought it would be a nice reprieve to show you a movie that I at the very least am looking forward to.
Sorry its not a video, it had no Embed section.

...Yeah, That Would Have Worked Too.

2011-03-30T19:43:00.001-07:00

Please support the Red Cross in Japan, if Possible

2011-03-11T12:29:00.000-08:00

While we here at ninjaHELL don't expect you to spend a single dime on quality comedy, we would like to extend our hand to those in need, especially those harmed by a natural disaster.

In the wake of the major earthquakes in Japan, I ask any who are capable of spending 10$ to send aid to the Red Cross, you can do so by Texting REDCROSS to 90999 to give $10. This will be part of your phone bill obviously.

If you would rather just give the money with a card, http://www.redcross.org/ is the place for you.

I'm sorry to use the blog for such a serious matter, but there's a time for joking, and a time for serious business, and this, much like the internet, is pretty serious business.

I'm touching it.

2011-03-11T01:39:00.000-08:00

Ok, that's it. I don't know what happened with Charlie Sheen, and for the most part, after seeing this video, I really don't care.
He is Winning at everything, and that being said, here it is.
Remember, All Green Things Must Die.

...That's not our name...

2011-03-07T01:03:00.000-08:00

Tsuba Drinks A Bad Drink - Rip-It Energy

2011-03-02T17:09:00.000-08:00

It's another edition of "Tsuba Drinks a Bad Drink"!

Rock off.

2011-02-27T20:50:00.000-08:00

And then there was that time I felt like I won, despite my disease

2011-02-26T13:12:00.000-08:00

Where are your Gods now!!!!! (I think this is like 6)

2011-01-31T15:36:00.000-08:00

I have come once again to tantalize and terrify with my videos of SAN damaging hilarity. Once again I have scoured the internets to bring the the most horrific and somewhat scaring videos that have the capacity to kill with there humor. I speak of course, of horrifyingly funny videos that I believe are worth the view. (Thank gods its not The View) In the end, you read this for the videos. So here it is.

Twilight fans...I hate you...but I love this video.<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="520" height="420" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/KShkhIXdf1Y" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Here is why I like Ikea. Stretch you should enjoy this one.

I kinda want a pepsi now, if only because I now believe that I can do all this with it.

Please don't let anyone do this ever. Oh gods I'm going to have nightmares.

I think thats about all the SAN I have to give up.
I will post more later. So if you wish to see more you are going to have to keep reading. Hope to break your mind soon
Tsuba out.

Tsuba Plays and Gets Scared of Dead Space 2!

2011-01-26T22:25:00.000-08:00

Part 1:

Check out the rest! >>

When you get Dexterity up to 20...

2011-01-03T18:40:00.000-08:00

Plans for the New Year - January Update

2011-01-03T17:23:00.001-08:00

So, Ikkicon is done. To those of you who are just following us, welcome! If you go to more than one convention a year, you're bound to see us again. And to those of you who have been around for forever, I'm glad that you've stuck around.

We have an announcement about Ikkicon that I'll be posting later in the month, but I believe some recouping time is in order for all of us. This last weekend was an exhausting and stressful one for all of us here at ninjaHELL!

But I'd like to take the chance to personally thank each and everyone of our audience members who came to our shows this weekend. You guys are seriously the reason any of us come out and perform convention after convention. As our fifth anniversary approaches, I know we have truly been blessed by God, Buddha, Yah-weh, Allah, Madonna, and whatever Atheists believe in. So, thank you. Now expect us to not mention something this heartfelt about the show for at least another year - we've got some HELL! to dispense, and being nice and loving tends to get in the way of that.

Update time:

We'll be re-writing the script for "nH! Presents - The Ninja Squad" to make it suitable for being a Rifftrax. Expect that up by the end of the month.
After that, we're going to be going back and tweaking the scripts for "nH! Presents - Telezonia" and "nH! Presents - Final Fantasy VII Advent Children" for the same reason. Probably won't have those recorded by the end of this month though.
In February, we begin the first Presents for a film that both Tsuba and I actually love - "nH! Presents Zardoz". Expect more awesomeness than before, for this film has Sean Connery being an absolute badass.

We'll be sitting out conventions, aside from those that personally invite us, until San-Japan 4TW. We want this convention to blow everyone's minds, and we're going to be putting in the time to do it.
We're consolidating both Facebook fan clubs into one overlapping Facebook Group, which will let us use Twitter to update it.

Expect more articles, pictures, videos, and awesomeness in 2011! SO ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN!

Just remember, this is a song about Rape

2010-12-22T10:20:00.000-08:00

I'm heading out to be with family in Marshall, TX. About an hour away from Louisiana, and 5 hours from civilization. Enjoy CHRISTMAS, folks!

Events Listings on Facebook and a Christmas Message

2010-12-22T10:19:00.000-08:00

The Event Listings for the Ikkicon 5 shows are on Facebook. Note - for "Gets It On", we encourage you to bring food and drink (of a non-alcoholic kind). We're literally having a party. You, of course, are expected to show up, bring eatables and drinkables, and Party Hard.

Now, here's a Christmas message to you from all of us here at ninjaHELL! (and a fan named Thor):

Holy Butplugs Batman!

2010-12-17T17:57:00.000-08:00

As some of you may know, we are doing a "Sex Ed" themed event this year. And in preparation for that, I have been scouring the internets for various things to help get ready for the event.
I have come across a video that I think sums up our event pretty well, and its got a catchy tune to go along with it. I hope you enjoy.
Just remember. Periods Suck. Commas Rule.

"Well, I'm also growing hair down on my private parts."
"Dude Gross. What are you some kind of werewolf freak?!"

December Update and an Explination - Not in That Order

2010-12-09T01:24:00.000-08:00

So, before the update, an explination as to why we are performing at Ikkicon V is in order. At SJ :3, we revealed to Mike Loredo that we were not planning on going back to Ikkicon unless invited as guests. While they were not able to offer a definete answer, they asked us to give Overload 2 a shot. If we liked how Overload 2 went, then we could perform at Ikkicon without worry.

We've talked about how Overload went (to recap: it was bad the first night, good the second. Net feelings? Neutral), and afterward, we told them we'd do Ikkicon, but we'd still like to be guests, our only reason for liking how Overload went being how talented their tech guy was (who, they mentioned, was the tech guy for Ikkicon as well).

Now, the compromise we came to with Ikkicon was this: We'd give them one more shot to show us that they're worth performing at, and they'd make us featured panelists. So yeah. We also figured it would be easier for a lot of you who can't come out to San Japan to check us out here.

Now that that's done, update time:

Scriptwriting is 25% done. I officially hate Godfrey Ho. And whoever thought giving the fans the choice between Zardoz and The Ninja Squad was a good idea. [Management note: It was actually the author's idea. Poke fun at him for it. That is all.]
The offer has been made for a replacement copy of Twilight: The Board Game. I also own the New Moon: The Card Game. We are looking into doing a review at the con between shows and panels.
We will be bringing all old prize material with us to the convention, so if we for some reason haven't given you what's yours, come up to us and pick up the crap that we owe you from the last year!
We have times! Look to the Right!

This means we'll be the first HELL! to be performed in the new year! While Alcohol is prohibitted in the panel rooms, bring some sparkly fruit drink and toast the New Year with us ninjaHELL! Style.
Or don't, if you want to do something responsible, like spend time with your families.

I'll also be doing a "How to Rule as a Dungeon Master" panel again this year, only Alan Rodgers (webmaster from Dragon's Lair) and Eric Dow (owner from Wonko's) will be hosting it with me. It's going to be a room-wide question and answer session, just like at Ikkicon IV and SJ :3.

Remember that website I hinted about at last year's Ikkicon? It's heeere.

We has a twitter. Check the side bar.

Overall, I'm going to give the site a make-over all month long - this set up is okay, but it's cluttered as hell. I hope the holidays find you well, and that you enjoy all of that turkey.

What can and often does happen in the world of Exalted.

2010-11-29T16:51:00.001-08:00

I know that I, Tsuba, am not known to be the one posting about games, but I am one to be posting cool, and sometimes even creepy vids. But whilst I was hunting the world wide webs, I discovered a series of interesting videos that perfectly portrait the action packed world of Exalted, a pen and paper RPG that me and some friends play. If you have heard of it or played it, then I think you will enjoy this video. Its a short clip from the movie, Shadowless Sword or as I would call it, Exalted the Motion Picture.

Fight off super baddies, get the girl, keep from drowning, all in a days work wouldn't you say. I know that one of the other ninja is going to post...something on Exalted sooner or later, and so until then let this be a taste of what your in store for.

If you wish to find out more about the world of Exalted, feel free to google that $h!%. And for more cool vids, stay tuned.

nH Presents and Contest winner

2010-11-28T16:47:00.000-08:00

Alright, so we have an overwhelming winner - The Ninja Squad! Now, the winner of the associated contest is the user lightofshadow on the Ikkicon boards, who was actually the only one to join in discussion on their rather dead boards.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Update - Video and Contest Results

2010-11-21T15:30:00.000-08:00

We're heading back from Anzu's wedding, and we have some lovely pre-hitched video to show for it.
We also will be tallying the votes for the contest and will post the winner by midnight tonight.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

A Joyous Event.

2010-11-21T13:18:00.000-08:00

I'd like to be the first to announce the wedding of our own Joanie Lyles (Anzu-chan) to her fiancee Eric Barbour. All of us from ninjaHELL! wish you a very happy marriage and look forward to seeing you and your new husband live a fun, fulfilling life together. Look for pictures, videos, and a complete run-down of the whole shebang from Anzu later this week.

November 20 - Forever
♥

Photo by Sean Martinez

Contest!

2010-11-09T13:47:00.001-08:00

Enter Here! We need your help deciding what is going to be the next film we do a "ninjaHELL! Presents" to, and you could win yourself a copy of the winning film on DVD for entering.

I... I... I Got Nothin'.

2010-11-09T13:45:00.001-08:00

Glitchy, But Tsuba Still Almost Vomitted.

2010-11-04T16:25:00.000-07:00

Fuck you, broken camera I returned to Best Buy, I'm posting the video anyway!

For those who may be curious: The camera I exchanged it for doesn't do this. It actually works.

Another Where are your gods now! The OMG why? addition.

2010-10-25T18:22:00.000-07:00

Hello there ninjaHELL fan(s)! It is I, the great Tsuba-kun, here to once again entertain you with my awesome ability to find the worse possible videos from all across the globe.
On a side note. There are some of you who have noticed that I have been quite gone for some time. I assure you that I was not dead. I don't believe in death. I was actually on a top secret mission to take over the small country of Hratckhatzakstan. The mission was a complete failure, but I have returned with disturbing videos aplenty.
Like this one for instance. Its one of Abba's greatest hits. And a punch to the face of music lovers everwhere.
Take a Chance on this Vid!

Then there is this one. Another of Abba's greatest hits, but his time, its a swift kick to the groin. I hope you enjoy never having or wanting to have children.
Abba Ive Failed You!!!

For all those who never want to their manhood again, this video is 7.5 mins of not stop nut crushing action. Enjoy.
Beef Tips and Nut Shots!

I know its only 3 vids but I hope you enjoyed ever minute of the mind numbing torture I have come to love as Tsuba's WHERE ARE YOUR GODS NOW!!!

Aki's Rant: What the hell is a celebutante, and why the hell do I care?

2010-09-21T22:55:00.000-07:00

Good evening, fellow hellions. My name's Aki, and I'm the newest ninja to join the group. You won't see a lot of me; I prefer to stay rather hidden. I'm the PR ninja, and if you ever have a question about meeting the ninjaHELL! crew, my email is in the sidebar. When I'm not getting the group to a convention near you, I'm ranting. I've found I'm quite good at it (working in a cubicle your whole life helps you focus your anger, you see). So here we go with my first topic.

Over the last few years, one thing has remained constant in the pig slop that has become American television: America is obsessed with fame and money. Every time you click through the channels, you find at least three programs on about some celebrity and their latest stint in rehab or their baby-mama-drama that would seem boring and uninteresting should it involve someone not rich or famous. I can understand it, to an extent. Sure, it's fun to get a glimpse into the life of someone with more money than we'll ever know (it's voyeurism to a point), but when it gets to where tv programs dedicate a whole hour block to one celebrity's mishap, things are getting a little out of hand.

Take Paris Hilton as a prime example. I dare one person out there to tell me three things she's done to earn being famous. And no, The Simple Life doesn't count. She's famous for having more money than common sense. Nothing else. And since her, all sorts of "cash celebs" have popped up all over American media. I personally hold her responsible for terrible excuses for entertainment like the Kardashian sisters, all the new VH1 reality shows, and anything from Jersey Shore. To me, it's pointless prattle (though, what on television these days isn't trashy, brain-rotting garbage, right?). Why would someone in their right mind give a crap if some blond bimbo goes to jail for having coke in her purse? They wouldn't. But if said person was very, very rich and notorious for acting out for attention, oh God STOP THE PRESSES. It just doesn't make sense to me.

And parents wonder why their 13-year-old daughter wants to wear thongs and crop top shirts. It's because of the media's over-glorifying of these brain cell-challenged attention sluts that girls these days feel the need to draw attention to themselves by showing their stomachs. It's almost sickening, and in any other time period they would be socially exiled. Instead, they're welcomed, put on a pedestal and called "cool" or "hip" (I'm pretty sure no one uses that word anymore, but I'm an old fart). This isn't right, and it's wearing our society down one tv show at a time.

I guess to put things in a nutshell, people need to learn how to turn off their televisions and raise their kids. There's no substitute for a good, stern talking to from your parents, and I think a lot of girls these days could use a nice, hard slap of the reality stick.

Moral of the story: America's objectifying the wrong people and it's hurting the younger generations. TURN OFF YOUR TV.

Der Kommissar is no longer poor.

2010-09-20T20:19:00.000-07:00

Due to financial difficulties (And college being rough), The Emperor has kept me busy with things other than the blog. Therefore, I worked diligently in order to return to my duties (I hate leading penal colonies. They're a bunch of pussies!)...

So, here will be the upcoming articles, for anyone who isn't a heretic.

Spartans Vs. Space Marines (Spoiler: Space Marines win)
Free MMO of the Month: Lord of the Rings Online
FFXIV Launch Review
Why I left the Anime Community for so Long
Anzu and Kogaku Present: Anima (First in a series of rare/unheardof/awesome tabletop games)

So, stay tuned, and get your friends to read the blog, you damned heretic!

(Before Kubu has to post a disclaimer, yes, you are all heretics, and only through ninjaHELL and the Emperor can you find salvation and redemption. In Nomine Imperium)

September Update

2010-09-19T21:31:00.000-07:00

Well, welcome to Fall. We here at ninjaHELL! had to take a small hiatus to take care of some real life issues and situations. Our next show is, as it stands, going to be at Ikkicon V, though we may be making an appearance at Yule Con working the Wonko's Toys and Games booth. More on that as we know.

At Ikkicon, we'll be doing our usual assortment of panels and shows, including an epic, if possible, 2 night 3-4 hour block show. In addition, brace yourselves, we'll be premering "ninjaHELL! Presents: Warriors of the Wind," the nightmare butchering of "Naussica" that makes Miyazaki cry himself to sleep every night and makes 4kids jizz in their pants.

We'll be contacting Gamerz about that video around Tuesday, and plan on finishing it by the end of the year.

Austin's Designer Hearts has invited us to attend their drag show on October 1st, and while I'll be dressed as a horny, drug and surgery addicted whore, the others will be in attendance to heckle my slutty activities. You should come and join in the fun if you can.

Here's hoping this update finds you and yours well, or atleast fully clothed with full memory of what happened the night before!

Bored Azu is Bored: After Work Edition

2010-08-26T16:00:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Utada Hikaru-Prisoner of Love (Original Karaoke)

General Thoughts: Bored, wanna play more Dante's Inferno, also annoyed at loud but adorable kitten.

Reading: Nothing currently, too busy writing

Craving: Coffee, chocolate cake, general junk food

Wearing: "All my base are belong to you" shirt, Jack Skellington pink PJ pants.

Photo of the day: Tiger Lilly, my new kitten, sleeping.

Oh, Gym Class... [As Boys Grow]

2010-08-22T03:41:00.000-07:00

"That Billy. He sure is filling out."

-Creepy Coach

Anzu-chan Explores the Bro Code

2010-08-12T16:22:00.001-07:00

Okay, so, after a series of unique conversations, I decided to investigate this so-called “Bro Code”, and after a few google searches, I learned something new. You boys have waaaaaaaaaaay too many rules, and they are all really silly.

Bros before hoes. I cannot stress this enough. Always remember, girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there. Breaking this rule is to commit the cardinal sin against Team Testosterone.
Never drink the last beer, unless you've been granted specific permission that it's OK.
If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:

A. Was an ex-girlfriend.
B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her.
C. Is you're buddy's sister.
However, if it's your buddy's cousin, well she's up for grabs, and you're welcome to rub it in his face for years to come.
Never diss a guy if his team just lost a crushing game. I lost approximately nine friends last October who felt the need to bust my balls when the Red Sox lost to the Devil's Bitches. Just leave it alone, it's kinder to pick on them for a dead relative.
You must never own a cat.
If you get 2 tickets to the big game, the priority list for granting the second ticket is as follows:

1. Your best friends (in order of how long you've known them).
2. Your acquaintances.
3. Your co-workers.
4. The mailman.
5. The UPS guy.
6. NASA.
7. John Kerry.
....1,485,726. Your girlfriend.
You are allowed to enjoy exactly one chick TV show, and one chick flick. (Mine are Dawson's Creek and Love, Actually). You may have no more. And if you like Grease, well, we're already too late.
Birthday and Christmas presents for your guy friends are optional. Beer always makes a great gift.
If you go the bar with your buddies, you must buy a round of drinks at least once.
There are no mercy rules when playing someone in Madden, hoops, street hockey, bare-fisted boxing, etc.
If you owe someone money, pay them back as soon as humanly possible—unless it's a gambling debt, which must be paid immediately.
Standard shotgun rules are as follows.

A. Shotgun may only be called within full sight of the car.
B. Shotgun must be called outside.
C. Shotgun calls last approximately ten minutes.
D. Shotgun never carries over to a second ride.
NO PDA (Public Displays of Affection). Hey, congratulations, another girl can stand the sight of you. You don't need to wear her like a ******* trophy.
It's alright to cheat at any game where money isn't involved. In certain circumstances, relationships may be classified as "games."
Don't tell other guys elaborate stories about your weightlifting exercise routine. No one cares.
Never openly question another guy's sports wisdom, unless said information specifically pertains to your favorite team. It doesn't matter how ludicrous the other guy sounds telling you that Jake Plummer was better than Steve McNair last season, let him be.
When out with the guys, never accept a call from your girlfriend—unless she's dying or trapped under a burning fuel truck, and if that's the case, make it quick.
Always allow a buffer zone at urinals and on couches.
Never share a bed with a guy, unless there's no way around it.
Bros Before Hoes. I know, I already used it. I can't stress it enough, though. It is absolutely infuriating how many of my guy friends have become insufferable ***** since they've gone out with someone.
In a 6 person hot tub, there should be a maximum of 3 guys.
A man should not sing and dance at the same time
A man should not watch Oxygen, Womens Entertainment, or Lifetime.
Men do not lie about their age.
A Man should not swing his arms when he is walking.
A man should never carry a woman's handbag
A man should never go tanning.
No man should dye their hair
A man should never refer to an athlete as a "stud"
A man should never cry during a movie. In the event that he does, he must under no circumstance admit it to anyone other than a girl he is trying to score with.
A man should not "pop" his collar.
A man should not speak more than two languages.
A man should never say "it's to die for"
A man should not wear a scarf without a jacket or coat.
A man should not wear an ascot.
A man should never use the following words: fantabulous, ginormous & fierce.
A man should never wrap a towel around his head after leaving the shower.
A man should never "sip" and alcoholic drink through a straw
A man should never wear a blouse.
If you are not living with a girl you should not have tampons in your bathroom.
A man should not wear crocs.
A man should not wear a leotard or do pirouettes.
A man should never wear a sweater over his shoulders
A man should not eat grapes from the vines
A man should never rollerblade
The word cute should not be used other then describing a chick they want to bone
If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.
A man should never, ever wear capri pants.
A man should not wear flip flops with a suit.
No man should wear a speedo to the beach
No man should make a kissing face in a photo.
No man should wear girl jeans
No man should ever get a pedicure
A man should never highlight his hair.
A man should not talk to another man in the bathroom.
A man should never sing show tunes.
A Man should never eat out of another man's hands.
Two men should not share an umbrella.
A man should not have "an outfit".
A man should not wear a white belt.
A man should never wiggle out of a pair of pants.

Also, for anyone who is curious, there is a website where more rules are written everyday, so you boys have fun with that. I'm gonna go enjoy shooting stars now...

http://rulesformen.org/

Pre-class Thoughts with Kogaku

2010-08-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

After getting my phone set up to let me blog on the go, I thought I'd start a new feature where I arrive 30 minutes early for class, and post my current thoughts.

Thought of the day: I hate people who I give openings to come over on the freeway and they don't take it. Assholes.

Question of the day: Why do crayons?

Word of the day: Gynecology

Song of the day: Games People Play - Alan Parsons Project

Number of the day: 5

Location:Farmers Cir,Austin,United States

Gather for the light show

2010-08-09T10:56:00.000-07:00

From Meteor Blog

Believe it or not Perseids meteors are active and visible in the sky right now through August 24th. The meteor shower will be at it’s strongest between August 11th until August 13th, so these are the best times to view this shower. I’m hoping for a great display this year and I’m urging everyone to get out and view the Perseids in their glory! If you like this blog and you want to buy me a cup of coffee to keep me awake while watching meteors you can do so by using the “A Coffee for Meteor Mark” section on the site that is located on the right underneath the newsletter sign up box.

If you live in the Austin Area, there are a few great places to view the meteors. Here are a few tips, they may seem simple, but it's easy to forget a few.

1 BRING BLANKETS: Texas has a ton of insects. Unless you want to become a human host to some bizarre ant colony, bring a blanket, preferably one that doesn't have holes (like an afghan).

2 AVOID NOISE POLLUTION: While we can talk shit about Texas being hot, or having tons of disgusting six legged mutants (emperor bless), Texas has one thing that all but one other state can't boast... Tons and tons of land. I suggest going near Lake Travis in the hills near Cedar Park. There are plenty of places to lay out a blanket on a gravel beach (NOT A ROCKY ONE!), and watch the stars.

3 BRING FOOD AND DRINK: Stargazing requires patience and concentration, and while you usually do it after dinner, it's good to have something to snack on while you're out there, so you don't have to leave and miss the fun. Hell, have a small nighttime picnic, it'll be fun!

4 AVOID HERESY: Staring directly into any star for too long invites the dastardly chaos mutant to enter your mind. Remember to recite the litanies of the Emperor of Mankind while you observe the stars, lest you find yourself a heretic.

Short post is short.

2010-08-01T13:09:00.000-07:00

Don't have alot of time for something big. My computer is being stupid and so I'm going to make this brief.
I love the word sperm. IDK why, it just sounds like a word you want to say and not to say at the same time. And they can sing.

LOL, I hope you liked that.

Anzu and Her Curlers: Relationship Issue

2010-07-28T16:20:00.000-07:00

Hello fans one and all! It's time to discuss a very important issue, dating...

This can be a very touchy subject for a lot of people, and it is a hard thing to really explain, though I feel like I should write about it and get feedback (That and the NinjaHELL! boys are always asking me for advice, so I must be good at it or something >_<).

Relationships aren't easy, by no means, they do take lot's of effort by all involved parties, but they should also be fun. I think serious relationships really should only take place between adults, not that our younger fans aren't mature or anything, but you need a diploma before a ring. It's just good common sense, one should always keep their priorities in check, and if your lover is abusing you., in any way, shape, or form. You need to drop that f&^#er like a sack of bricks, no ifs, ands or butts, it breaks my heart when I get emails from people telling me about how their lover has controlled them or made them feel like crap, it's just not right.

Everyone deserves a good, long-lasting, and healthy relationship, but those things require communication and understanding. As well as a healthy dose of good thinking, and trust me, no matter what age you are. Be it 15 or 105, it is never, ever too late to start again, even if you have been in a long-term relationship that didn't go the way you wanted it to. You just need to be able to sweep up the dirt and move on, which is only as hard as you make it.

Now, for more lighthearted things, please come to Anime Overload for my very special Ask Anzu! relationship and sex ed panel, featuring our resident expert Tsuba-kun! The event is 17+, but that shouldn't be a problem for our loyal fans! See you there!

...Things Could Be Better

2010-07-19T12:58:00.000-07:00

Those of you who read this blog may have seen the post by an emotional member of my crew, who took it upon herself to lash out at one of the viewers of "ninjaHELL! Presents - Final Fantasy VII Advent Children" who had a complaint. She acted without knowing the whole situation, and when we received an email that fully detailed the issue she immediately regretted it. She will be posting her own apology later, but for now I want to say something.

I'm sorry for how my crew acted at the show, and online after the fact. Regardless of the situation, we should hold ourselves to a higher standard of behavior when it comes to the show, and no one deserves to be called names or treated like trash. I will be taking actions to ensure that this NEVER happens again.

When it comes to the show, there are times that jokes we make will brush up against sensitive topics for some people in the audience. One such example was at "ninjaHELL! - With a Vengeance":

We were showing a video titled "How Can I Tell if I'm ^REALLY^ in Love?", a relationship and (more than anything) abstinence video. We made jokes about ways you could tell that you were not in love. Due to the nature of the video and our comments, one of the viewers (who happens to be one of my friends) left the show a little offended. At the time, she was going through a bout of depression, and was unsure whether or not she was really in love with her boyfriend she had been with for 6 months.

A situation like this is the only time that Rule 1 applies. We hadn't said anything necessarily offensive, but it was something she felt a little hurt by, and she had a right to be. Everyone has to deal with different challenges in their lives, and it gives them subject areas that they are or aren't comfortable delving into. If you feel we have done something like the incident I mentioned above, don't worry. Just walk out and let us know later.

You're not overly-sensitive if you feel that something you see of hear makes you uncomfortable because of occurrences in your life. Everyone has those particular subjects - One of mine is Alzheimer's.

Now what happened at the show was something different. Our "right to say what we want to say" only applies to a situation like I mentioned above. What Tsuba did was out of line, and he was reprimanded for it. I am sorry it happened, and I would like to stress once more that it will NEVER happen again.

[Note: Fixed a time based tense issue.]

Anzu and Her Curlers: Post Con Rant (AKA You otaku gave me the nerd flu)

2010-07-14T14:12:00.000-07:00

Well faithful fans of ninjaHELL! As much as I love you, I have to say I am not happy, somewhere between entertaining you awesome people and cavorting around the convention floor, I caught the con plague. Why, you ask? Well, when you get 600-700 people together and only 1 in 10 remembers to bathe, things get a little gnarly. So here's some video's to educate the smelly masses.

Don't fret my lovely fans, I am recovering quickly and will be ready to take all of your burning questions by next Wednesday, so send away!

Peace, Love, and all of the Above!

Quick Review: Red Dead Redemption Part 1

2010-07-07T09:55:00.000-07:00

...Thanks Danny Glover.

Anyway, while in the time I like to call "E3 Wake", I was desperate to find a game to review. I first tried out "Singularity", which, while fun, was just another first person shooter, and I like to pride myself in my ability to branch out, and not use the term "Halo Inspired First Person 'Experience'" more than fifteen times in a single five hundred word review.
After SEVEN attempts to find this game at the local Blockbuster, I finally nabbed a copy, along with Monster Hunter Tri, which I will review after San Japan. I was excited. Lately, yours truly has been on a western binge, likely due to the John Wayne marathon which, at the time, was playing on AMC. (If there's anyone more manly than a Commissar, it's the Duke, you see.). So, with great haste, I began playing...

Red Dead Redemption takes place in the 'area' of 'New Austin', New Austin looks amazingly like if you took all of my home state of Texas, a small corner of Louisiana, and the upper part of Mexico, and crushed them down into about 300 square miles of land. I appreciate the fact that, while on the box, they do CALL it Texas, ingame, there's very little mention of it, which is good, because I am a stickler for people using the word "Texas" when they don't mean it.
The first thing you'll be treated to is a rather well acted, and uncannily mature discussion as your character steps off of a steam boat he must have taken from Louisiana, and boards a train headed for the town of "Armadillo" (Really? Armadillo, game? You couldn't have chosen a better name for your Amarillo knockoff?). When you arrive in Armadillo, you immediately start a mission to find one of your former brothers in a gang. Gunned down by this man, you are rescued by a sassy ranch hand named "Bonnie", who I initially found insufferably annoying, though she warmed up to me later. What rather surprised me, was that this game didn't have the gritty, dirty, unnecessary waxy buildup of immaturity that most Rockstar games have. Yes, there is a sex scene later in the game between a rather large mexican warlord and some unfortunate townswoman, and as much as I found it unnecessary to see this man's pud, it was at LEAST attempting to be a metaphor for how he is exploiting the townsfolk.
The controls take some getting used to at first, the horse riding, the cover system, and all of the other small details seem clunky, but I almost wonder if your character doesn't have an invisible character sheet, as he seems to get better at it, and you do, as time goes by. I noticed also, that while the world may seem empty, as you do more missions, more 'strangers' (read: random encounters) will be standing around.
There's plenty more to say about this game, and unlike the Silent Hill review, I do plan on having a second part to this. Speaking of, the Silent Hill game ended up needing to be returned to Blockbuster. I intend to check it out once I get the Wii working once more (HUR HUR).

I will see everyone again after San Japan, and if you want any insight into how I think of your favorite game, and happen to be at the convention, I'll be the man in the Gas Mask and Commissar hat, so feel free to approach me. (In the emperor's name of course, otherwise, be prepared to be shot for treason.)

Anzu and Her Curlers: Hungover Edition

2010-07-05T12:18:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday... Yeah, if anyone out there is happy about this Monday then I want some of whatever your on. So, while I recover from a raging hangover left from last nights festivities, here's a few funny videos in the spirit of the holidays.

Man Engulfs His Backyard In Flames - Watch more Funny Videos

and to top it all off, something not quite right, but so very ninjaHELL!

Helping Johnny Remember from ashleigh nankivell on Vimeo.

ninjaHELL! @ San Japan :3 Packing list.

2010-07-04T16:21:00.001-07:00

So I'm starting to make a list of things I'm going to take to San Japan. Clothes, food, and ect. But I'm putting this together so that all the fans out there can see what it is I prep for when I'm packing. I think I did something similar to this after the last san japan, but I'm doing it again anyway. So here it is:

Clothes: I am bringing first and foremost, my costume. A C.W. Ind. Original, its been hand crafted by little Italian woman who have gone blind from there trade. After that its the essentials. Shirts, Shoes, Pants, Underwear and an assortment of accessories.
Toiletries: I always bring DEODORANT, shampoo, shower gel/soap, and anything that will make me not smell like crap.
Food: I always either get food, or pack extra food for the trip to ensure I don't end up having the ramen runs.
Condom: I may never use them myself due to the lack of girls wanting to sleep with me, but I pass them out constantly so that no one I know ends up with The Con Itch. Its like jock itch, only it doesn't go away and you can pass it around.
Emergency money: I think this one is self explainable.
Even equipment: We always pack up what we need to put on our show, otherwise, we would have no show.

Well guys, that is really it. Its simple, and useful. I hope you learn from it, and if you don't, then you can suck my right nut.

Contest Winners!

2010-06-20T21:43:00.000-07:00

Well, it's the 20th. We've looked at our entries, and we've made our decision. While we're at a standstill on the ninjaHELL! Episode IV poster contest due to technical difficulties, we have decided the winner of the FFVII: AC contest, and have decided to give the prize for the other contest to this show's runner up.

Here's the poster by Patrick McBee, which got second place:

This was the original sent to us by Nicholas Kier:

And here's what the actual version we'll be using looks like :

We've also decided our winners of the Celebrity Green Materia Contest:

Nathan Kosta Rodriguez - Summon Barack Obama

"It would be Obama in the form of a BIRTH 'CERTIFICATE' and the power would be non-american round table where he Vetos one action from the enemy and turn it into a '.....' "

Brittany Carmon - Summon Johnny Depp

"He would have three forms that would materialize at random:

Pirate mode which would attack with either pistol (more power) or Sword (more loot) then steal gold and an item from the opponent and give it to the summoner.

Edward Scissor Hands mode which would attack with the scissors and leave fun hair cuts while he's at it (the hair would stay for the duration of three turns and deal additional damage)

Mad Hatter mode which would attack with either the hare at his side (throw tea cups and such) or the cheesier cat at his side (Ches hypnotizes the enemy with his crazy floating body parts while Hatter sneaks up behind and attacks or with he would attack alone with his own sword)."

Elissa Smith - Summon Angelina Jolie

"She would first appear during a crucial "random battle" in her Tomb Raider outfit, guns and all, to kick major arse. Next she would save the day by adopting all of the orphaned Advent Children and by promoting charity for those suffering from disease. But then, she would create chaos for all as her gigantic boobs and exaggerated curves would steal the hearts of men (both heroes and villains) while invoking the wrath of all the ladies. Angelina would really be a gun-slinging, world-saving, home-wrecking calamity upon the world of Final Fantasy!"

The Winners will be notified and a viewing will be set up. Congrats guys!

Podcore Nerdcast Episode 5: Guess Who!

2010-06-12T23:50:00.000-07:00

In the new episode of the Nerdcore Comedy Tour's podcast, I talk with Shane Herbert about Anime, Conventions, what the HELL! we do, and do something I still feel dirty admitting.

I debated that Dragonball Evolution was not as bad as Super Mario Brothers (The Movie).

Check it out, you won't believe how the debate ends!

June Update

2010-06-12T23:46:00.000-07:00

Ah,we finally found a way to classy the site up a few notches! As a result, videos will be posted in a regular size, and we'll be able to bring in some functions we hadn't been able to bring in until now.

We're still having our "Design-A-Poster" Contests, and the deadline is still June 20th. As of yet, we've received very few entries. At this point, anyone could win. Send in your best attempt at a stick figure and a star background and YOU COULD WIN! It's really anybody's game.

We're having a test screening of "ninjaHELL! Presents: Final Fantasy VII - Advent Children". We've got 3 seats available for fan's opinions and suggestions. Can't come to San-Japan :3 but still want to see the show? Then this is for you! Send the answer to the following question to my email address, and our 3 favorites will get the seats and a spot in our credits sequence.

If you could have a Green Materia of any celebrity, who would it be and what would it do?

You've got until June 20th for this as well. And remember, if we only receive 3 entries, those people win, regardless of the quality of their entry.

You're Already Dead

2010-06-11T18:17:00.000-07:00

Where are your gods now: Nothing Sacred

2010-06-07T21:23:00.000-07:00

O.K. Kiddos. Here we go again. Proving that the world is falling into a state of WTF, I have found for you once again, videos from the void of the internet and will now be showing them to you, so that you may once again, grow into even further twisted indaviduals. That being said. I apologize for your pain, but rest assured that I know your pain and will be here if you need a shoulder to cry on.

Enter Sandman. A song that most would admit to be sufficiently metal. And now, the Kazoos have taken a hold of the song, bent it over, removed its lower garments, and raped it, much like we here at ninjaHELL do with your childhood. I now know how our fans feel.

I hate Sponge Bob. What I almost Masochistically enjoyed, was this clip. It hurt on a level that I cannot truly describe, and so I now will show it to you. The timing is well done, but that is possibly the only saving quality of this clip.

Now, I have never had a problem with Lego Star wars, but this made me laugh, and then I felt a deep pain inside. Here see it for yourself.

(Fire the LAAAAZZZEEERRRR!)

Now here is your complementary, hope this makes you feel better Video.
Ich Tu Dir Weh: Gay or German? You decide. As for me and Chepi's Room, I think we will like it. (Stretch knows he's one of my favorites) Lets see if he can find the hidden dildo. The only hint, and this will probably give it away, is 3:48 ish.

Oh and on a quick side note: I am really psyched about the Mortal Combat movie coming out in 2013. (IMDB that shit its real, not a shitty fake trailer from youtube) So please feel free to comment appropriately, the guy who played in the live action Spawn is Jacks, so I'm happy.

[Note: If the movie turns out to be horrible, we'll still be happy. More material for us to heckle. Things like this are really win-win, yes?]

Roll Them Bones: New Ways to Lose All Your Clothing on Gaming Nights

2010-06-05T22:22:00.000-07:00

We here at ninjaHELL! love games. Video games, card games, board games, pen and paper role playing games, violent games of tag: when we're keeping ourselves from getting work done on a project, you can bet it's because of some form of game. Yet, for all of the new games that come out, there's one genre of gaming that's not received much attention - Dice Games. And with some of the new products available, it's worth your time to check them out.

Cthulhu Dice by Steve Jackson Games

Got 3 or more friends nearby? Got 5 minutes to kill? Are you willing to summon up a celluopoid creature from Ry'leh to Yum-Yum us all to death? Well, do I have a game for you! In Cthulhu Dice, you and your friends take turns casting curses at each other, draining everyone's sanity to Cthulhu, while trying to stay sane yourself. If you go insane, don't worry. You now work for Cthulhu, and any sanity you steal from anyone else goes to him. This thing is a blast and, with a price tag of $5, worth a look into. I've seen people use this to decide who would go first in longer games.

Zombie Dice by Steve Jackson Games

Their second entry in a row to revolve around dice, Zombie Dice is much like a demented version of Farkle. Players are zombies, and it's feeding time! There are three kinds of dice: Green, which offer more brains and less blasts, Red, which offer more blasts than brains, and Yellow, which are split right down the middle. When it's your turn, you roll 3 of the 13 dice that the game comes with, randomly chosen, and pray to not get 3 shotgun blasts. If you don't get shot 3 times, you get to roll 3 more randomly chosen dice, and continue until you like your score, or you do get shot 3 times. Play continues until one player has scored 13 or more brains. The dice then go around one more time, and the player with the most brains is crowned the champion. With a price of $13.13 (may be more than Cthulhu Dice, but way more satisfying), this is also worth a look.

Toss Up! by PATCH

I shop very late at night when I can't sleep. You know, 4 AM and craving something to eat, I don't have many places I can go. So, I decided to browse a local Wal-Mart to see if I could find anything interesting. Imagine my surprise when I found a $7 game that sounded like Zombie Dice, minus anything that makes Zombie Dice awesome. Well, I picked it up. And it's actually a little different. Here, all dice have the same chances: mostly good scoring sides, with a few non-scoring ones. The catch? You have to roll all ten at once, and can continue rolling for as long as you continue to score points. If you at any point roll dice that give you no points, you lose any points you accumulated up to that point, and play passes to the next person. If I had to pick, I'd do Zombie Dice before this one, but Toss Up! is a definite close second.

Unethical Practices by EA

2010-05-31T23:21:00.000-07:00

I've never been a huge fan of "Boycotts", or any of that hippy stuff (Pardon me, hippies. You had it coming, though), and I loves me some free-market... But I also love ethical business practices... I feel like L1 here needs to be heard by as many people as possible, and he's right. EA, and other game companies that are going to charge extra, and screw over used game stores (Like my beloved GameFellas, a place here in Tejas that has served me well since childhood, not to mention GameOver videogames)... Well, it doesn't sit right with me.

I hope I'm not overstepping my position by posting something that isn't funny, per se, but I think, if I'm the token video game nerd, I might as well post something I feel rather strongly about.

This is a long video, so please forgive me if you don't have too much time on your hands, but it's worth it to hear the guy out.

Reminder: Design-A-Poster Contests!

2010-05-28T17:11:00.000-07:00

Just a reminder: if you want to have an easy way to cut in line during one of our future shows, you can enter any of our Design-A-Poster contests!

Rules:

Make a poster for one of our two shows at San-Japan. We'll pick one per event to be used to advertise for the shows at the convention. The two shows are:

ninjaHELL! Presents: Final Fantasy VII - Advent Children
ninjaHELL! Episode IV: A New HELL!

Send it to us by June 20th. Send it to us anyway you want to. One of the easiest ways is to send me an email at kubukunthesoundninja@gmail.com.
The winner for each will receive a Cheater's Pass, which is good for cutting in line, but behind all of the VIP and Guests.

Deadline has been extended. Get Drawing!

Where Are Your Gods Now? 2: How Wide is Your Butthole?

2010-05-28T11:50:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going to make this into a possible series. I have somehow been able to find videos so horrifying to my psyche that I am unable to comprehend them and am slowly driving myself into insanity and mental oblivion. Like, it horrifies me that someone would ever consider making a Metal Lady Ga Ga cover.
I wept manly metal tears over this one.

How how people could think that its ok to try and remake the Rick roll, with slipknot and Power Rangers. Funny, but then you feel bad after laughing.
I shit you not, this totally happened and I feel ashamed for viewing it.

I think a part of me died when I watched this. A part deep down where I never wanted to let go, of the idea, that metal, might be, a little gay
(I can't even come up with a witty comment for this one).

Now this one isn't so bad, but listening to it enough might drive you insane. Enjoy!

This one just brought back memories...of how much I loved this show, and how its no longer with us except for Boomerang and I don't have cable and...see this is about where I started pulling my hair (Will I am is so much better without the rest of the group).

And then with all that pent up rage inside me, I stumbled across this(I damn near threw my computer).

And then there is this woman. I want to die.

There is an emptiness in me that I can no longer fill due to some of these vids, and while normally I would do my best to protect people, this is ninjaHELL, and I would be letting you guys down if I did not allow yourselves to destroy your psyche the way I did. So please enjoy.
To make up for exposing you to those terrible vids, I will give you this one, it was a shining light at the end of this shit tunnel. And it comes with a free download of the song. I hope this makes up for things, though I'm still dead inside after some of that.

Quicky Game Review 2 (Part 1 of 2): Silent Hill: Shattered Memories

2010-05-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

Back when I was a kid, my Dad would pick on me (Playfully of course) that video games needed a "Hugging" attack. This always made me mad as a kid, and as an Adult, I think I started to get over it, and find it funny. What kind of game would have a creature hug you to death...?

Silent Hill, of course!

Let me start by saying, I friggin' love Silent Hill. It was one of the first Mature Rated games I ever played as a Kid, and it gave me nightmares. That's hard to do with me, if you're a video game. I loved the atmosphere, the clunky combat gave it a horror feel. It was probably poor design, but it added to the "You're an average guy, PYRAMID HEAD RAEP TIME!" feel of the game.
However, let me also state that I found "Silent Hill: Homecoming" to be the game that needed to put the game to rest. It was creepy, sure, but it wasn't Silent Hill. I liked it, and I'll go on the record as saying such. But it felt like the new team behind Silent Hill had aquired the license to the series, and had already been making a horror game, so they decided "Hey, let's just replace a few city names, landmark names, and make it a Silent Hill game!".
This same team went on to make Shattered Memories... Let's see how it went...

Gameplay: So there's no more combat. I know what you're thinking, "NO COMBAT IN A SURVIVAL HORROR GAME?! INSTANT 2/10!", but give it a chance. It's honestly so much more tense when you can't unload fifteen clips into the horde of flesh-critters running after to chomp on your junk. I played it on the Wii, and, for all of it's flaws, the tense nature of the game, and the inability to go off screen with the Wii-Mote without the game going "GUESS YER' GONNA STAND THERE WHILE YOU GET STRANGLED BOY", it felt like I was frozen in terror. I'm certain that this was poor design as well, but it felt real...
The use of the Wii-mote to interact with the environment was clever. You had to turn knobs, shake things out of containers, turn things with your wrist... It was clever. Not anything new, but it worked. It also came into the 'combat', which consisted only of throwing enemies onto you that would latch on. You would wait until the main character, Harry, would lean to show that he was trying to get them off, and thrust the Wii-Mote and Nunchuck in that direction. It felt pretty real.
Oh, and the game profiles you based on things you do in game, such as observing posters, listening to ambient sounds while standing still, reacting to the characters you meet... And after each major Nightmare (the sequences of the game where you are being chased through the area you just explored by "Huggers" as I'll call them, which scare the crap out of me), you are psychologically profiled by one of the most odd psychologists I've ever seen. He feels more like he could be Satan trying to put you into one of the circles of hell.

Story: It's a re-imagining of the first game, though it feels very distinctly more American. You have more of a focus on highschool drama, weird pedophilic tendencies (Dhalia is a teenager, if you have played the first game, you'll understand.), and just sheer fear of being estranged. There's a lot less focus on being 'alone', though you are for most of the game. I won't spoil anything, you really need to play it.

Sound: It's creepy. For a Wii game, sound can be either really great, or really bullshit terrible. In this case, it's great. I wish that when you used your cell-phone in-game, the sound came out of the Wii-mote ala No More Heroes, but, what can you do?

I'm going to actually make this two reviews, due to the sheer size, but next time, we'll discuss what could have made the game much better. For now, if you can rent games in your area, rent this one. It's pretty cool.

Anzu and Her Curlers 1st Issue

2010-05-25T10:59:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! It's me your beloved Anzu, finally settled into her new home and ready to review the most awesome comedians I have seen in a long time, and they're nerds, double win! I know my review is super late, but moving into a new place is hard, and I didn't have any internet for a while! :(

And yes, I am in curlers, beautiful hair like mine takes a lot of work. One lazy day and I'd go from your beloved Anzu to Samara Morgan (JFGI).

Let me start this article by kicking Kubu-kun square in the butt! I was tricked into going to this event, even though I would've gone anyway. He told me we were going to have a simple meeting of the minds at Wonko's Toys and Games, so I woke up that morning and threw on my denim skirt and Clifford t-shirt. No make-up, no curlers, no effort whatsoever, so I get there and see that nerdcore comedians are coming to the Alamo Drafthouse. Not even looking at the date I turned to my significant other and said,”That sounds cool, we should go as a date night.” Little did a know that is where I was going to be front row as a reviewer.

The comedians were the absolute coolest though, when I felt too under-dressed to be in the photos they were very nice and gave me a bunch of giant balloons(Which became a running gag the rest of the night). All of the guys were hilarious, though the questions they chose were too dorky for me, Eric (My Fiancee) did inform me that Luke Skywalker's name in the original script was Starkiller. Which, to my chagrin, I remember him telling me while playing The Force Unleashed. I had a Five-dollar milkshake, which almost came out of my nose multiple times while watching these funny-guys rock the stage. All and all I had the greatest time out there and will definitely see them again should they stop and play here in Austin again.

Now, my head is starting to itch so I'll have to say Au Revoir to my good friends on the interwebs and get these damn things out!

Peace, Love, and All of the Above!!!

Anzu-chan

Where Are Your Gods Now? - World's Most Horrifyingly Funny Videos

2010-05-24T10:12:00.000-07:00

The first is a simple song mistranslation. Its funny, Indian, what else do you really need.
Indian Song Translation:

The second, another Indian Vid.

This one, is an abomination on all Comic books, I feel ashamed for India's Existence.

This one is just plain funny
Worst Fight Scene Ever:

Sooooooooooooooo Much Win!

Again, Japan? Do I have to yell at you again!?

2010-05-24T08:59:00.000-07:00

For your listening and viewing consideration, please listen to at least the first minute of each of these videos:

(The Offspring - One Fine Day)

(Hanamaru Sensation, the opening to "Kodomo No Jikan") (Oh, and this video isn't exactly work safe, or y'know, anything safe. Please read below if you want to find out why.)

Notice a similarity?
Now, should I be glad that Japan is finally moving on from its 1980's American New Wave phase to latch onto our 90's skate punk?
...
Oh, no, I shouldn't, I forgot to mention, That anime? It's about Kindergarten girls trying to seduce their 20 year old teacher. ...Fucking Japan. I THOUGHT WE NUKED YOU FOR A REASON.

[Kubu Note: The opinions represented here are not necessarily the opinions of ninjaHELL! in general, though we believe the creator of that particular Anime should be shown the error of his ways.]

Nerd Core Comedy Review - Technicals

2010-05-20T09:52:00.000-07:00

Since we're customizing our reviews, I figure, being the new tech guy and all, I'll focus on the show beyond the comedians.

Mine will be a slight bit shorter than the others, due to the fact that I was laughing too hard to notice some things that might have slipped by, but, here goes.

I would also like to note, as this seemed like it was among their first shows (Was it? If not, it was at least their first time at the Alamo Draft House)

Lighting: The Draft House is an interesting place to preform stand-up, in my opinion. I've never seen a comedian at a movie theatre before. The best thing that they did with the lighting, was that they had very simple 'comedy house' spot lighting. Unfortunately, I think the spot light was a little too bright, and needed to either be gelled, or diffused to not blind the crap out of the comedians (A universal complaint during the show.)

Sound: The timing on the 'intro music' for each comedian felt 'off'. It seemed like they just need a little more practice getting the timing down, and it'll be great. However, the issue with the key-tar being broken at the end of the show was an unfortunate mistake, and nobody was at fault. The tests earlier in the day seemed like it was going to work, and, well, "The best laid plans", so they say. Regardless, the music fit, and, with a little bit of practice, the timing will be perfect.

The only other issue I saw was the technical issue of people not showing up. Seriously, people, show up next time. You threw the comedians off, and I blame each an every one of you, and will stab you tonight in your sleep for your sins.

Over All, it was a good show, and just needs a little bit more practice. With that, it'll be up there with the quality of a Comedy Central Stand-Up Special in no time!

Beyond the Technicals, it was a wonderful show, and funny as all hell. I think I laughed harder here than I did when I went to a professional stand-up event in Manhattan. The Comedians were great, and the atmosphere felt very... Nerdy.

Nerdcore Comedy Tour Review

2010-05-19T00:30:00.000-07:00

We here at ninjaHELL! were offered the opportunity to check out a session of the Nerdcore Comedy Tour (a group of stand-up comics who specialize in humor aimed at the Geek and Nerd subcultures of our modern day society). In exchange, they asked us to spread the word a little and to each write a review on what we thought. As Tsuba pointed out, we had a blast, and the show overall was very good.
To make sure each of these reviews doesn't sound the same, we're each going to focus on particular aspects of the show. For me, I'm focusing on the quality of the comic's acts, separate of the show itself. Enough fluff, on to the review!

MC: Michael Suarez

Speaking from experience, opening up a show is very hard. By having to go first, you set the expectation level of the event. If your part is a failure, people will quit right then and there. Michael did a pretty good job, considering how small the crowd was this particular time [Note: we'll be touching upon the timing issue later.]. He definetly kept everything flowing well, and kept our attention.

2nd Up: Jay Whitecotton

Jay seemed nervous. I don't know if he has really bad stage fright, or if he didn't know his material that well, but it was easy to tell that he was a little uncomfortable walking out there. Now, he got over it, and his material was funny, but that first impression can be hard to overcome. One of the things I found really funny, and a definite good touch, was how he brushed off the MC's cue cards for that night's giveaways. It had a "Fuck this SHIT!" feeling to it, which was hilarious!

3rd Up: Mason Lerner

Mason seemed less nervous than Jay, but still not completely confident in himself. This made him feel just like he was new to the craft, as opposed to having stage fright. His material was more aimed at the comic book crowd, while Jay and Michael were focusing more on nerd culture in general. His jokes felt more locked-on, and he gave the impression of really knowing what he was talking about.

"OHH YEAHHH!": Alex "Kool Aid" Ansel

And Kool Aid completely blew us out of the water. He knew how to work a crowd with stand-up, and felt like all of his humor, most of which was video game based, were things he was thinking up almost on the spot. We especially got a kick out of his T-Shirt swapping incident - he apparently was hiding a Kool Aid Man face Shirt under the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles one, and slid into a bunch of Kool Aid based pick up lines based on "What Flavors" he would be to different kids of people. If you get the chance to catch him in a show, do so. You won't regret it.

Headliner and Final Act: Shane Herbert

I laughed so hard I almost cried. It felt like the experience and quality of the jokes (all of which were good) were set up to crescendo, leading up to Shane. He knew how to work the crowd, poking fun at everyone there in such a way that he was charming. He knew his material, doing more jokes than he originally intended to do. He covered a wide variety of topics, but made each one feel focused and complete. Props man, you got this thing down pat.

Overall Feelings: Very enjoyable. Even the comedian with the least experiance was better than most of the comedians I'd expect to see at a stand-up showcase. They might not have had the exact crowd they were hoping for, but they made sure that everyone there had a good time.

You guys got me. I'll be there next month too.

NerdCore Porn...I mean Review.

2010-05-18T15:31:00.000-07:00

So. What can we say about the Nerd Core Comedy Tour? First off I would like to say that of many of the Comedy shows I have seen throughout Austin, I have to say I was taken back by the general lack of formality that Nerd Core works in. And to be honest I like it. So many times you go someplace for a laugh and you end up with a bunch of yuppie stuck up Californians who only care about ruining Austin with there presents, and all you can do is sit in silence while some hard working comedian has to live up to the ludicrous standards of a bunch of Elitists who's only Goal is going into other people's towns and destroying them with there Hollywood and there San Fransisco. I mean, they may not be as bad as Houston, but I'm sure its simply because with Houston all the evil is contained by the Triple Pentagram Protection offered by the the UH Courtyard. (I'm excluding those dudes from Wonko's from the list of my California hatred because even though they are from California, they're cool)

That being said, I generally liked the comedy bit. Intermixed with the prize giveaway snafus and other such muck ups, everything else went ok. I favored Kool-aid and Shane acts the most, but I everyone did very well. I would love to see another show my schedule permitting. My favorite thing about Nerd Core is there emphasis on nerds. I believe that Nerds and Geeks are an untapped demographic of people who have a face in main stream comedy and while they may not be main stream just yet, they do represent what I see as an ever growing movement for nerds to get out into the world of main steam media. We have seen it in movies recently but not in many other forms, and for this I wish Nerd Core all the best and salute them on there road into Nerd Comedy history.

Now for your viewing pleasure, here are some nerd vids
Nerds!!! (Yes, that's a girl)
Neeeeerrrrdss!!!!
Neeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrdddddddddsssssss!!!!!!!!!
GNERDSESES

Quicky Game Review 1: Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's World Championship 2010 Reverse of Arcadia

2010-05-17T09:40:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that you have to be a true nerd to understand the emphatic lust some people feel for children's card games. However, it takes a very special kind of freak to understand the premise of Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's.

It's hard to describe the Synopsis, but to put it very bluntly...

CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!!!

With that crap out of the way...

Gameplay:
It's a damned card game that you can lose in the first turn. I realize this is more of a complaint about the gameplay of the meta-game itself, but seriously, if you have to use a banlist in your card game, and you still have decks that end the game at the first turn, you need a serious redesign. Now, I'm a veteran of many Cardgame fads, Magic, Magi-Nation (I miss you...), Digimon, Pokemon... I played them all... But seriously, at least Magic has a way to prevent this sort of crap, and I think it is a giant steaming pile. (It's getting better, though, from what I am seeing.)
Oh, and the Racing Segments... Yeah, Cardgames are now played on Motorcycles... And it's an awful lot like Mario Kart without the fun.

Graphics:
Now I realize with all of the complex calculations of choosing the best children's trading card to place on the field, the computer would naturally have to think... But this involves making the game slow down to about one frame per second during a battle... Try reading a Card Effect that was just placed down while the computer thinks for a good thirty seconds, then preforms five actions without giving you any chance to know what the hell just happened. It's a bit like if I came up, punched you in the face, apologized, bought you dinner, and then kicked you in the crotch, all in the span of five seconds.

Sound:
Eighties Power-Techno, Next.

Story:
Oh, yes, unlike previous Yu-Gi-Oh! World Championship titles, this one contains a crap story to follow the rest of its crap. Apperantly it's the storyline of the anime from the eyes of some silent mongoloid who can't seem to break free of this elite corporation that brainwashes psychics (Yeah, there are psychics.) into playing childrens card games for the sake of THE WASTELAND.
Look, Fallout 3 was a bit goofy in that (SPOILER ALERT, DEAL WITH IT), President Henry Eden was a giant computer. Yeah, nobody saw it coming, blah, blah.
But seriously, What kind of evil corporation is run by a card game obsessed nutjob who has some strange obsession with a 13 year old girl? I liked the original Yu-Gi-Oh! Storyline, I'm not afraid to admit it. The tie-in to ancient egypt was rather original for Japan. However, now Japan is trying to make this "YU-GI-OH! OF THE NORTH STAR!" and they're failing miserably.

Overall:
The Game is crap... But you're probably not playing it unless you're a fan of the card game. I like the card game, and I like this game, but damnit is it a terrible, terrible game.

If you can deal with the flaws, you'll probably enjoy it. But honestly, if you're just looking for a quick little card game for your DS, try Card Fighters... Actually, don't, that crap was bad too. (If only they had stuck to the Neo Geo Pocket Color formula)

A Safety Message from ninjaHELL!

2010-05-07T18:18:00.000-07:00

You'll need to watch it on YouTube. The Screen Cap is a little weird for the site.

UPDATE: See Us @ Nerdcore Comedy Tour!

2010-05-07T17:08:00.000-07:00

Well, we may not be performing, but we will be going to the Nerdcore Comedy Tour appearance May 13 at the Alamo Drafthouse Lake Creek. The show will start at 8 PM, and we'll be doing write-ups and filming some footage while we're there.

Want to go? Buy tickets here, and we'll see you there!

Also, want to see a cheap, yet fun, movie going experiance? Does $5 sound cheap enough for you? Check out Austin's Designer Hearts as they ShadowCast the film "REPO! The Genetic Opera"! I'm one of the hosts, play a part in the film (See if you recognize me) and we helped make all of the pre-show clips. Get your tickets for it here, and we hope to see you there too!

An Open Letter to Japanese Character Designers

2010-05-05T15:14:00.000-07:00

Dear Japan,

You and I have an odd relationship. I find your social practices completely and totally debauched and strange. Your culture of collusion and xenophobia angers me, and yet your media is of such quality (OR AT LEAST WAS, UNTIL MOE GOT A NAME), and your ability to code graphical adventures is nearly unmatched.

Until recently, all of your characters looked like men. Manly Men, with power levels in the lower 10,000 regions. However, what did you just have to do to ruin it?
Let me go ahead and raise up a flame shield here...

Japan, this character was the catalyst that ruined gaming for me, and turned my generation into a bunch of wimps. With his femme hair, and his weird, skin-tight leather outfit, girlish looking
face, and soft spoken manner, he defined what it meant to be a bitch.
I of course refer to Cloud, much to the malign of many fanboys and girls in their weird white stained pajama pants, reading fanfics galore.
This is your fault Japan... But, you have redeemed yourself.

I recently rented the game Nier, hoping dearly that Square Enix wouldn't dissapoint me with some drivel about saving a princess, or the world ending because of some opressive capitalistic government.
I was pleasantly surprised.

I'm not sure what you're trying to pull here, Japan. This seems like one of your stunts... But if this is one of the many new characters that will break the pussy cycle we've been in for more than a decade, then by George, MAKE MORE.

Yours Truly,
Kogaku

"Ask ninjaHELL!" Event Description

2010-05-04T23:44:00.000-07:00

Christopher W. Reynolds and Kendall Stovall (Kubu-kun The Sound Ninja and Tsuba-kun The Bullseye Ninja of ninjaHELL! fame) are back to answer your questions! All topics are accepted: ask about the history of ninjaHELL!, the backgrounds of the performers, plans for future ninjaHELL! events, why your grandmother hates your love of cartoons, the thoughts on the possible canidates for the 2012 Presidential election, the taste of Brocolli, why Catgirls should be an endangered species, the Hundred Year War, your sex life (or lack thereof), just to name a few. A secret door prize will also be given away to one lucky attendee.

"ninjaHELL! Episode IV: A New HELL!" Event Description

2010-05-04T23:43:00.000-07:00

Kubu-kun The Sound Ninja and Tsuba-kun The Bullseye Ninja are back, and have brought some new friends with them! Be ready for more prize giveaways, funny clips, and more of the insanity you've come to expect from ninjaHELL!

What is "ninjaHELL!"? It's a clip show where the worst of the worst in bad Cinema and Television, awkward Sex-ed specials from the 1940's, wartime propaganda, corporate propaganda, odd cartoons from around the world, and any other strange footage the hosts can dig up. They make fun of the clips and usually have different giveaways, contests, special guests, dancing, and whatever else they randomly decide to do while entertaining the audience. It's meant to be a late night / early morning event, and is only for those who are 17 or older. Think of it as a giant video room - if you don't like what you see, or you want to go get a bite to eat, you can walk out and come back in later on.

"ninjaHELL! Presents: Final Fantasy VII - Advent Children" Program Description

2010-05-04T23:41:00.002-07:00

At the beginning of this century, Square Productions let loose information on a continuation of their epically received and praised game Final Fantasy VII. First rumored to be a video game, the company later revealed it would be released as an CGI animated film. Fans were excited: "A Final Fantasy movie that, unlike Spirits Within, was actually based on a Final Fantasy game? How could this not be good?"

An answer to this question came in 2005, when newly-mergered Square Enix released the film to theaters and on DVD. And it was not the answer the fans were wanting.

It's been five years, and two upset fans are finally going to take their revenge. Join Kubu-kun The Sound Ninja, Tsuba-kun The Bullseye Ninja, and the rest of the ninjaHELL! crew as they dare deal with wheelchair-bound former villains with a strange lust for white towels, crazy cosplayer cults, Sephiroth-Cancer, evil children bent on destroying the world, and hours of character development that's been thrown out of the window. See the new RiffTrax before anyone else can! See the host segments you can't see anywhere else! See certain ninjaHELL! crew members without their shirts on (ProTip: It's not any of our female members)! Come see... "ninjaHELL! Presents: Final Fantasy VII - Advent Children"!

Thoughts on "Hot Tub Time Machine"

2010-05-04T22:52:00.000-07:00

I finally went and saw "Hot Tub Time Machine" earlier this week. I was expecting to see a drunk / stoner flick that plays with an overused plot device, possibly created to drown out some of my IQ and remind me what humor used to get thrown around when I was in middle school.

Except, it wasn't. This film actually explored a theme of self-redemption and the whole "never give up on your dreams until you get what you want" that Harold and Kumar films are known for. Out of all of the cheesy humor and drunken gags, the moral and motivation of the film shines like a diamond in a junkyard. I was honestly shocked by how good the film was. Check it out if you get the chance.

April/May Update

2010-04-27T14:37:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, Kubu here. Things in our personal lives have been keeping us from posting, but the next two weeks should make up for that.

Down to business:

Anime Matsuri was crap. I'll be posting my review of the con and the show we did there in a couple of days. [Note: The review is done. Check out www.animehell.org to read it.] One good thing did come out of it, however...
Screw Attack Con! We might be doing a variant of ninjaHELL! here. They already have their own HELL! event here, so we'd be doing ninjaHELL! Presents [Some really shitty video game movie]. However, things are still up in the air, so there are no definite answers on this one.
We're going to begin script writing for FFVII AC next week. If you'd be interested in being in one of our 3 to 4 "skits" in the middle of it, email me to let me know. We also still have our poster design contest going, so make sure to enter into it before the end of May.
We may have found a venue for doing ninjaHELL! at outside of conventions, making it possible for those of you who can't do any of the conventions we're doing to see our show more than once a year. More on that as it comes.

And that's about it! I'll talk to you guys soon (probably later tonight)

-Gaston Kubu, The Sound Ninja

How Good Stories Go Bad

2010-04-27T13:27:00.000-07:00

So ok guys, I have to admit something. I love Naruto. I know, heresy right? But hear me out. I have discovered in my watching of Shippuden, something magical. I have discovered that Naruto Shippuden, is not being produced by the same company. The original Naruto was produced by Tv Tokyo, while Naruto Shippuden is produced by Studio Pierrot, and aired through Tv Tokyo.

Now what does this mean? Well it means that the original writer has had more say in the goings on of his show. Tv Tokyo is notorious for taking control of shows they produce. Basically we can blame all the filler that was in the original Naruto on Tv Tokyo. Now that doesn't forgive the California pot heads and there "Believe it!" mishap, but it does let us take a new look at Shippuden. In Shippuden, the original writer is being allowed more freedoms and more control to make the show he wanted to make, and that is a good thing. It means that there wont be any filler that he hasn't thought out before hand. He's not being forced to come up with random crap to fill a time spot with so that it will appeal to an American audience. He isn't having to let crucial plot points slip because the money bags tells him he has to make 50 new episodes.

Put simply, Leave the art to the artists and tell the producers to shove it. Shippuden is amazing and I'm sticking to my guns on it.

Writers Unite!

Being Sick. It really sucks

2010-04-11T11:09:00.000-07:00

I know most of our posts are at least supposed to be semi-ninjaHELL! related material, but I've got to tell you, I played the worlds greatest game of beer pong the other night, and I am feeling it.

Let me paint the scene for you. The date was April 10th, 2010, a Saturday night. The game, beer pong. The challenge? Play against two homosexuals with more ball experience then I could ever wish to have. Needless to say, I was backed into a corner. But like the mighty tiger, I pounce at my attackers with full force.

What I didn't know, was that the cups did not have beer in them, but rather, Apple pie moonshine. After my third or forth cup, i could feel the effects, but what the other players didn't know was the I was not left handed. So switching to my dominant hand, I laid the beer pong smack down on those guys, and decided it would be a good idea to drink some more moonshine to celebrate. Eight hours later, I awoke to the grumble of my stomach, and my lower bowels. I raced to the toilet and needless to say, it was...explosive

So, moral of this story? Never play beer pong...ever...or risk the wrath of your own bowels.

A short story about Heretics, and why they die

2010-04-07T11:47:00.000-07:00

[Kubu-kun's Note: This is a summary of actions that occured during a session of a Dark Heresy campaign Kogaku and I play in. This is from Kogaku's character's perspective. We don't hate anyone for any sort of belief. We actually just hate everyone equally ;3]

TL;DR: Cannons fired overhead, a whizzing of musket rounds filling the air where the screams and death rattles could not. Standing on a large watchtower over the scene would lead any normal man or woman of the imperium to falter in their faith. With my Lasgun in hand, I aimed down at one of the primitive soldiers below, their muskets aimed at the tower to no avail. One Down... His head burnt to a crisp as I melted it without much trouble... My ally, an Assasin from some unnamed Feral World picked off a few with a well placed hunting rifle round through the hearts. As we fought an incredibly one sided battle, we heard thunder... Though it was nearly indistinguishable from the cannon fire that surrounded us, we could certainly tell that something was wrong. All of the sudden, a red rain began to rain down from the dark clouds overhead... It was blood. The Psyker that had joined us was curled in a fetal position, crying as he had 'failed the emperor'. Despite this, I stood resolute, my Kreigian blood pumping full force. A cannonball from our side had killed three of their ten men in the trench that was near the tower. By the emperor's grace, one was running about aimlessly, his fear of blood causing him to panic. I aimed at his ammo supply in a small satchel on his belt, and fired... Each musket ball exploded, liquifying the poor soul and three of his companions... Unluckily for them, their ammunition exploded as well, eliminating all of them in a split second... I suppose it is the Emperor's grace that blood was already pouring from the sky... They created not only a stream of entrails, nay, an entire river.

Summary: I fucking love Critical hit charts.

ninjaHELL! @ Anime Matsuri 2010

2010-04-03T10:27:00.000-07:00

Here are the videos from the convention! We're going to be leaving a new video at the top of this list every now and then. Apologies to the shakiness in some of the videos - we're still new to the whole recording videos thing.

So then, I suppose I'm here too

2010-04-02T21:05:00.000-07:00

It would seem that I was initiated by fire into the convention life. My first exposure into panels, fanboy-funk, and yaoi fangirls was not more than two hours ago, and I was welcomed into ninjaHELL! as the Tech-Guy not too long before.

I should introduce myself, I suppose. I am Kogaku, Ninja of Optics, Shutters, Apertures, and perhaps ISO's. I will be working Technology at ninjaHELL! events when I can, and will also assist in other matters as I grow more accustomed to the show.

I intend to update the blog as much as I can, I'll have to find a theme for my posts, but, I hope that I can be a great addition to the team.

Thanks for having me, folks. Be safe.

Kogaku

We're heeeerrreeee!

2010-04-02T20:38:00.000-07:00

And here we are at Anime Matsuri! Be expecting us to upload videos every now and then to make you feel like you guys are here too. Be checking our Youtube channel for more.

Snicker I got nothing. Just Watch.

2010-03-31T14:36:00.000-07:00

And the original

OMG. These kids...There un-friken believable.

2010-03-26T11:05:00.000-07:00

Watch! Watch now!!!
Lightsaber1
Lightsaber2
I knew the Japanese had real lightsabers!
Most Epic Lightsaber battle ever.

Con Problems and what you can do to help.

2010-03-24T23:35:00.000-07:00

Ok guys. IDK if Kubu-kun has mentioned this very much to you guys, but as some of you know, we have problems with Cons in the past (One con to be specific but we wont go into detail...cough...Ikkicon...cough...Anime Matsuri...cough, sorry allergies). So with that in mind, I have devised a series of ways that you, the fan, can help alleviate some of these issues.

Step #1: Spam the HELL!!! out of the respective con's forum, website, or other medium, with such material as. "I want my ninjaHELL" or "WTF why no ninjaHELL" or the like. It would stand to reason, that if enough people talked about it, and made the point clear that they want ninjaHELL or any HELL event at there con of choice that the people running it may just be smart enough to think, "Hm, maybe we should invite those guys back".

Step #2: Talk about ninjaHELL at cons you go to. By doing so, and in front of the right people, you may just get a member of con staff thinking, "Hm, maybe ninjaHELL would be a good idea". But remember, when doing so, make sure you use words that make us seem cool, and wanted, not just that you like it.

There isn't really anything else that you can do other than those two things, in some way. But again remember, you must keep a cool head. If you don't, you only end up sounding like a dick, and no con will take your opinion to mean anything.

Disclaimer: Do not use harsh language when doing said forum flaming. Any insulting of the con may only result in our expulsion from said cons. So please, keep the spamming peaceful.

And if you haven't seen them, you should watch the ninjaHELL videos from our trip to Matsuri.

Zardoz and You

2010-03-24T13:58:00.000-07:00

If you've been a big fan of Sean Connery for any large stretch of time, you've probably seen this trailer for what has to be the strangest film he's ever starred in: Zardoz.

Well, being intrigued by what seemed to be a horrible Connery flick, I went out and watched it. I was pleasantly suprised. It was really good. The entire finm seems very jumbled and umprepared based on the trailer, but the creators wanted to hide little important tidbits of the entire movie in there. The only way you'll make sense of the trailer is to see the movie. Zardoz is one of those movies that you'll just have to trust us on and take an "Indiana Jones" style leap of faith. It's well worth your time.

So Zardoz Has Spoken!

ninjaHELL! at Anime Matsuri

2010-03-24T13:47:00.000-07:00

Well, they've announced the date of the event. Here's a flyer we'll be putting up at the convention:

St. Patrick's Day!!!

2010-03-17T13:49:00.000-07:00

Here it is guys, Tsuba-kuns, Holiday funny time fun videos of fun...and stuff.
I'm always on the look out for Holiday themed material, and by always, I mean that it is a recent development. I was surfing the internet and I came across a few videos that made my St. Patrick's day. They are rather funny, and some of them may even be touching but you may not like where they touch you. LoL. Here they are. Funny time fun videos of fun.
Videos are linked here.

A.L.S. (Leprechauns)
Black Hole...OMG I want
British Sex Ed
Dick in a Box, meet Bitch in a Can
When you live in the Concrete Jungle...
I want!!!
Some People...Gah!!!
Ive seen this somewhere before...oh yeah, that time I dropped acid.
Breaking Up is Hard to do
x99
Birds...they own everything
hard core funny

Thats it for the videos, some of which were too painfully funny to put on here. But Here are the ones that would not make men cringe.
Later folks.

And We Have A Winner!

2010-03-11T12:12:00.000-08:00

Okay, after some VERY hard deliberating [Note: by "deliberating" we mean "waiting to see if we had any other entries"], we finally have the winner for the Design-A-Logo contest!

Kinda.

This was difficult. The contest was to make a logo for our Facebook FanClub, and out of the two people who entered, both had really good designs. Both so good, that both parties win.

Check out our new logo for the FanClub:

And check out the new logo for ninjaHELL! in general:

Now, only one person can receive our main prize package. So...

Danno! wins our first place package, and Thor wins a free Cheater's Pass as well. Thanks to all who entered (*snicker*) and I hope you guys enjoy your newfound status as art-ists!

[Danno! and Thor: email me so I can send you your Cheater's Passes.]

[EDIT: Put the pictures in the wrong order. -_-;]

It's time for Ask Anzu!!!!

2010-03-10T09:57:00.000-08:00

Hello to all my fellow ninja's out in cyberspace! It's Anzu, the lovable NinjaHELL! Mascot, here to again answer your question and offer my little nuggets of wisdom. I haven't got a lot of questions lately and really need you guys to help a girl out and ask away. I promise not to judge if you won't (he who is without sin and all that jazz). So without further ado, here are your questions...

Is it better to be Noble and Tenatious, or Charismatic and Loose?
-Anonymous Ninja

Ah, this is a toughie, really it all depends on who you are and what you're after. Most people send a good portion of their lives searching for Mr./Mrs. Right. For them I suggest the Noble and Tenacious (<- this is my inner spelling Nazi going after you) route, at least to a point. It's nice to be persistent if you thing they're the one, but don't keep kicking a dead horse, you know? As for those just looking for Mr./Ms. Right now, I say go for it! Woo as many as your heart desires, just make sure to protect yourself from disease and heartbreak by setting those boundaries now and not getting to attached to someone who's just looking for a good time. Some people need love, some people just want fun, just pick what you think you need and go for it, it is better to reminisce about something you probably shouldn't have done than to wish after the great things you missed out on.

I haven't dated in a while and I've noticed myself getting nervous around women. How do I get my confidence back?

-Anonymous Ninja

Oh woe! To the many Ninja's who stand before me fearing to romance the opposite(or same, I don't judge) sex, I understand your plight. As of the past three or four years I have been an outspoken wooer of many peoples, but it was not always so. I had a horrible body self-image, as well as crappy fashion-sense back in high school, which made talking to people in general quite nerve-wracking and traumatic. I spent my days wondering if I'd ever crawl out of my funk and become the great girls you all know and love today, then one day, an epiphany! I had bumped into a boy I had the worst crush on in high school at a birthday party and he actually remembered me, quite nicely in fact. So that's when I realized that you can't just sit in the background and watch the people who capture your eye walk by, and the little nugget of courage opened up inside me and I just dove right in! That's what people need to do, to walk into life with the attitude of a cosplay raider,”So what if some people think I look stupid? I do things my way!” If you can find that little spark of life that makes you the greatest you can be, without acting like a douchbag. Trust me, people will begin to flock to you like moths to a flame. Take Kubu-kun for instance, he got up on stage in front of dozens of people and did an awesome job at the Repo showing. After something that big you know that wooing the ladies has got to be no sweat, sometimes you just got to get out there and put on a show, you can't succeed if you don't try.

How can I tell if a woman is interested in me?

-Anonymous Ninja

Women's personalities are as varied as their appearances, some will outright show you that their interested, others will pretend interest or disinterest in order to get the object of their desire. The best thing to do is to just have a casual conversation with the girl in question.Why? Two reasons:

This will make a good impression on a girl if she is interested in you, showing her that the thinking head is not the one in your pants ;-).
If the girl is not interested in you, it becomes really obvious very quickly, keeping you from making a complete ass out of yourself by flirting with someone that's just not that into you. Again, there's no miracle formula for finding love, it's really just trail and error.

So there ya go, remember to please send me all of your questions to ask.anzu@gmail.com, and as a change of scenery, Anzu has a question for you. I have someone who was a close friend when I got engaged, and know she has become a major b*$%# to me in every sense of the word. The problem is she's friends with my future sister-in-law, so when I told my sister-in-law about the date the person in question still thinks she's going. How do I tell them their not invited without starting WWIII?

Plans for the Nearby Future

2010-03-06T20:27:00.000-08:00

As I perform the "Oh-So-Familiar" feeling of dodge around by a convention we might be attending (I say might because I have no idea when our event would be. Or if we have a place to stay. Damn cons.), I remember that I haven't been keeping you guys in the loop about ninjaHELL!'s future. Well, consider this a crash course in ninjaHELL! current and upcoming events:

I'm planning on something special to be filmed during Spring Break. We've made fun of bad movies, weird music videos, religious propaganda, but we haven't tried making fun of video games. "ninjaHELL! Plays: Deus Ex" and ninjaHELL! Plays: Deus Ex [2:] Invisible War".

To do this, we'll need:

a place to play and record the game play and commentary
volunteers to help us act out sketches and skits
people with sewing ability and sewing machines
people who also feel like making Deus Ex costumes

Interested? Email me to let me know.

All of us here at ninjaHELL! are finally of drinking age. And Saint Patrick's Day is around the corner. Anyone up for partying?
We're doing Anime Matsuri. Our show will be a good old-fashioned 4+ block of bad clips and our crazy commentary. When during the convention? No idea. Help us find out when by posting and requesting it in our forum topic here (Thanks go to Anzu for starting the topic and to Apple for bumping it).
San-Japan is all but finalized and packaged. We're doing "ninjaHELL! Presents: Final Fantasy VII Advent Children" and "ninjaHELL! Episode IV: A New HELL!", with "Advent Children" being the same night (just earlier) as "Spike And Mike's Twisted Animation Festival." We're also going to be running their scavenger hunt booth, making it a con to attend.

As for me, I acted as Pavi in Austin's Designer Hearts' inaugural ShadowCast performance of "REPO: The Genetic Opera." Needless to say, it kicked ass. And with the heavy weight of having to prepare for it, I can focus more on slacking off and not getting anything done.

...I meant focusing on ninjaHELL! Totally meant that.

Whats in a Name?...Everything

2010-03-06T12:05:00.000-08:00

Hey folks, its Tsuba-kun here today to discuss the matter of Themes. I know it seems like a rather small topic in the grand scheme of thing to be talking about themes. But in Truth, themes make up a huge portion of ninjaHELL! planning and preparation.
You see, a theme helps us, develop ideas for videos to use, Jokes to make, people to make fun of, and other funny things as well. Themes also help us develop means by which the audience can participate. So, like, a very merry ninjaHELL, we used Holiday themed vids, and to some extent had a holiday themed idea in mind for everything we did. But we don't just want seasonal themes, those get boring and eventually you need to spice things up a bit. A theme can generate everything from a name, how you advertise, what kind of symbolism you use, the close you wear to the show, everything one can imagine can be derived from a theme. So if we did a "Metal" themed ninjaHELL! (The music genre not actual metal) then we would use that as a base for everything we did. Even down to the use of "Metal" or as close as we can get to "Metal" vids. And eventually we would end up with something like this. (This video is a perfect metaphor of what goes on a ninjaHELL, and its "Metal" themed).

Now that is what we see when we are on stage, and this is what you guys see, from the audience (They are both the same song so you lose none of the epic).

(They are both the same song so you lose none of the epic)

So, you now have some idea of how important a theme is to ninjaHELL. So please, beloved fans, give us your input. The more we know about you, the more we can please you.
Thanks again, and we'll see you soon.

Now Showing: RPGs. The Undiscovered Multiverse.

2010-02-26T12:28:00.000-08:00

Do you wish you had super powers? Do you long to save the world? Do you find yourself drawn to enter dungeons and or slay Dragons? Do you worship Satan? (That last one was a joke). Then I believe that you, are a prime candidate for the use of RPG therapy. By playing RPGs, you can reduce the urge to go into dark forests, kill thieves, loot the bodies, and then get drunk at a tavern. Side effects include insomnia, increased appetite, sensitivity to light, a shakiness of hands, low sperm count, transvestism, Allodoxaphobia (fear of opinions), Anthropophobia (fear of poeple), nausea, erectile malfunction, inability to stand or sit for extended periods of time, and other terrible side effects. Please consult with your DM before engaging in RPG therapy.

I love RPGs. They allow that which you only have dreamed of being, without all the collateral damage of destroying everything in your sight. What I love more is the fun time you have playing them. And the system doesn't matter. Storyteller, D and D, BESM, whatever. You never have more fun, then when you are not yourself. As such, here is a video. Just something simple and funny.
I know this is a short post, but it makes its point. So here it is.

I have a plus 9 ogre slaying knife

The Blue Meanies' Cousins. Seriously.

2010-02-26T00:56:00.000-08:00

The Right Way and The Wrong Way

2010-02-26T00:49:00.000-08:00

So, President Obama and several key Democrats and Republicans sat down yesterday to discuss health care reform at a special bi-partisan health care summit. I watched some of it (being interested in what was going to go down) and was shocked by how some of the attendees acted. Rude remarks made to interrupt someone else's turn to speak, haughty "how dare you say anything that doesn't agree with what I have to say" attitudes, disregarding another's opinions as worthless - if they were children, their parents would be appalled. In fact, politics seems to have this be a running theme: there are ways that common people are suppose to act, following common decency, and then there are the ways politicians seem to think they can act, as if they are above the standards and rules that the rest of society follows.

This never would have happened if they lived back in the day and had to watch the educational specials our grandparents watched! Here are some examples, all taken from the ninjaHELL! library. See if you can find a running theme...

Mind Your Manners

Understanding the Dollar

Act Your Age
[Part 1]

[Part 2]

What's In Your Pants? - The ninjaHELL! Blog

ninjaHELL! @ RealmsCon

I've Held Off Long Enough...

Texas is so dry...

Just so you know, this happened.

How To Rule As A Dungeon Master [SJ4TW]

I'm a sucker for a man with nice fingers.

Tony and Sofia - This is for You

July Update

RIDER KICK!

These people arn't even Japanese!!!

Aki's Playlist - June 14, 2011

Take the hint, Games Workshop.

Aki's Playlist: June 3, 2011

How To Survive Conventions: How To Not Starve

So Yeah, Somehow We Figured Out How To Broadcast To The Internet...

Game Design in the Coffee by SWERY

Quick Review: Bulletstorm

Where are your Gods now!!!!! the Sequel to the Sequel

...Yeah, That Would Have Worked Too.

Please support the Red Cross in Japan, if Possible

I'm touching it.

...That's not our name...

Tsuba Drinks A Bad Drink - Rip-It Energy

Rock off.

And then there was that time I felt like I won, despite my disease

Where are your Gods now!!!!! (I think this is like 6)

Tsuba Plays and Gets Scared of Dead Space 2!

When you get Dexterity up to 20...

Plans for the New Year - January Update

Just remember, this is a song about Rape

Events Listings on Facebook and a Christmas Message

Holy Butplugs Batman!

December Update and an Explination - Not in That Order

What can and often does happen in the world of Exalted.

nH Presents and Contest winner

Update - Video and Contest Results

A Joyous Event.

Contest!

I... I... I Got Nothin'.

Glitchy, But Tsuba Still Almost Vomitted.

Another Where are your gods now! The OMG why? addition.

Aki's Rant: What the hell is a celebutante, and why the hell do I care?

Der Kommissar is no longer poor.

September Update

Bored Azu is Bored: After Work Edition

Oh, Gym Class... [As Boys Grow]

Anzu-chan Explores the Bro Code

Pre-class Thoughts with Kogaku

Gather for the light show

Short post is short.

Anzu and Her Curlers: Relationship Issue

...Things Could Be Better

Anzu and Her Curlers: Post Con Rant (A*K*A You otaku gave me the nerd flu)

Quick Review: Red Dead Redemption Part 1

Anzu and Her Curlers: Hungover Edition

ninjaHELL! @ San Japan :3 Packing list.

Contest Winners!

Podcore Nerdcast Episode 5: Guess Who!

June Update

You're Already Dead

Where are your gods now: Nothing Sacred

Roll Them Bones: New Ways to Lose All Your Clothing on Gaming Nights

Unethical Practices by EA

Reminder: Design-A-Poster Contests!

Where Are Your Gods Now? 2: How Wide is Your Butthole?

Quicky Game Review 2 (Part 1 of 2): Silent Hill: Shattered Memories

Anzu and Her Curlers 1st Issue

Where Are Your Gods Now? - World's Most Horrifyingly Funny Videos

Again, Japan? Do I have to yell at you again!?

Nerd Core Comedy Review - Technicals

Nerdcore Comedy Tour Review

NerdCore Porn...I mean Review.

Quicky Game Review 1: Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's World Championship 2010 Reverse of Arcadia

A Safety Message from ninjaHELL!

UPDATE: See Us @ Nerdcore Comedy Tour!

An Open Letter to Japanese Character Designers

"Ask ninjaHELL!" Event Description

"ninjaHELL! Episode IV: A New HELL!" Event Description

"ninjaHELL! Presents: Final Fantasy VII - Advent Children" Program Description

Anzu and Her Curlers: Post Con Rant (AKA You otaku gave me the nerd flu)

Snicker I got nothing. Just Watch.